Thursday, July 16, 2009

'Twas the Night Before PIB

We're heading to Put-in-Bay tomorrow morning for the 3rd annual PIB Girls' Getaway Weekend, which we have so duly dubbed Woo Girls Wolfpack Weekend. This year's group is a classy bunch indeed: K Trux, Kelly, H-Bomb, JES, Lynn, V, K Ruff, and myself. I am sad to report that Karjo, Linds, and B. Dunlap will not be able to make the trip. We'll pour a little out for our homies though; they are with us in spirit.

As I prepare to anxiously pack my belongs for what promises to be another memorable weekend of debauchery, I find myself reflecting on last year's extravaganza. Throughout the weekend, we each took on male alias' complete with careers:
  • K Trux: Keith Troutman: Troutman Insurance and Keith's Kickin Karaoke
  • JES: Jazzy Jasper Sampson: Jazz singer and saxaphone player from Louisiana
  • H-Bomb: Homer Rodriguez: hispanic truck driver and KSkullet's number one customer
  • Holly: Horatio Fellagio-Rumpski: Sex therapist and - new this year - part casino owner. Sex and gambling go hand in hand.
  • Karj: Karl Skullet: plumber and suppository salesman. Met his untimely demise in the sleeper sofa
  • Linds: Leon Dopplelinger or something like that: Gynocologist
This year, Kelly, V, Lynn and K Ruff were blessed with man names of their very own:
  • V: Virgil Johannson: Former librarian, had to resign after a child molestation charge. Settled out of court.
  • Kelly: Kareem Makavelli: Bar keep at the Toxic Tavern in Lousiana. Gave Jasper his big break at the Tavern
  • K Ruff: Kato Ronstadt: former underwear model who brought on the tassle craze
  • Lynn: Luther Santiago: Owner of Luther's Loot, a discount jewelry store in Arkansas
We took a series of pictures similar to the above photo for about 30 minutes, and we all nearly peed our pants. None of us are really sure to this day why this photo shoot was so funny, but I'm surprised you can't see the tears of laughter in our eyes. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol....
Then there was the infamous clown cupcake birthday cake - yes, that's a deformed clown. This cake was a surprise for Linds' birthday and H-Bomb, Karjo and JES had managed to get it into the hotel room fridge without Linds noticing. However, as soon as K Trux arrived and open the fridge, she exclaimed: "Who's birthday cake is this?!" This ruined surprise will go down in history.
Then there was this creepo at Level 2. Apparently there was some Mardi Gras-type thing going on that weekend that we were unaware of, but this d-bag had the biggest ball necklace EVER. What makes him creepy besides the mustache, is the fact that he kept putting his necklace on unsuspecting members of our wolfpack while we were dancing (see above). Also, note Linds' facial expression of shock, terror, and disgust.

Also, you can see K. Trux in the background of this pic most likely scanning the bar for Biggie Smalls, her dance partner for the night. I am sad that I don't have a photo of BS, but his memory lives on.
Other notable memories from PIB 2008 are:
  • 1 thread count sheets
  • Fart Island
  • poop snakes
  • "God DAMN!" - boys on golf cart to Karjo
  • "You have a look I just have to capture" - crazy drunk lady to Karjo
  • Troutman Road
  • $100 speeding ticket
  • JES' lack of sea legs on the ferry ride back
Be sure to stay tuned for stories and photos from the PIB 2009 adventures!

1 comment:

KittY Vermouth said...

Jes' lack of sea legs? I'm dying!

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