Friday, August 24, 2012

12 lessons in 12 months

Happy Friday, cats and kittens!
Here's a quick look at my weekend:
1. First football game of the season with my cheerleaders.
2. I get to meet Alicia's Georgia friends!
3. Gathering with Shawn's coworkers during the day Saturday.
4. Celebrating my friend Kelly's birthday on Saturday night.
5. Homework.
6. Fantasy Football draft party!
I hope your weekend is just as fun and action packed, or the complete opposite.
Either way - it's the weekend and I'm not complaining :)

But before you all ride off into the sunset for some fun, I have another lovely sponsor to introduce you to today!
Melissa @ Forever and a Day is a crazy cat, tea drinking, yoga posing, baseball fan lady!
And she is here to share a few things she's learned in her one year of marriage.
This you gotta read!
Take it away, sweet thang...

Hi Friends!  My name is Melissa and I blog over at Forever and A Day.  Forever and A Day is my little space where I write all about my life in Los Angeles, C.A. with my husband.

Recently, Tim and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary.  We spent a luxurious 4 days in Big Sur and it gave me a lot of time to think.   

Our first year of marriage came and went faster than I ever anticipated and I realized that I've learned quite a bit in the past 12 months.  

Here are 12 things I learned in the 1st 12 months of marriage.  

1.  It's OK to fight, but fight productively.  
Let's face it.  No one enjoys fighting.  Debating, maybe.  Fighting, no.  Especially not with your partner.  But, it happens.  And in our house apartment, it happens more often than I'd like to admit.  What I've learned is that it's important to make those fights as kind as they can be.  Don't go for the low blows.  Try not to raise your voice.  Get your point across in a calm, mature matter.  

2.  Serve each other.  
I have found that our marriage is strengthened when we do little things for each other selflessly.  This could be something as simple as Tim making sure the dishes are actually in the dishwasher (and not the sink!) for me or me cleaning the litter boxes out for him.  When we go out of our way to do little things around the house that make the other happy, good things happen.  

3.  Take an interest in the other person's passions.  
I can't even begin to tell you how many different craft beers I've tried in the past year.  Tim, in turn, is reading my favorite book, "The Martian Chronicles.  

4.  Encourage each other.  
I don't know if I would be writing this blog if not for Tim's encouragement.  I also like to think that I've encouraged him to push himself as well.  

5.  Keep the romance alive.  
This doesn't have to mean big trips, fancy jewelry, or writing songs for each other.  Simple little things, like going to our favorite restaurant, surprise flowers, or making cookies can keep that spark alive.  

6.  Appreciate each other.  
Recognize that you are both in this together and that marriage provides you with an amazing friendship, an extraordinary love, and a built in support system.  Don't take those wonderful things for granted.  

7.  Have fun together.  
Be silly.  Get day drunk (and drive responsibly).  Run into the freezing cold Pacific Ocean.  Make up silly words.  

8.  Power down and unplug.  
While I love me some Instagram just as much as the next girl, I can't speak enough about the wonders of going analog.  Take a few hours and turn off your devices.  Laptop, cell phone, tv.  Look at each other.  Talk to each other.  Go for a walk or hike that is uninterrupted by incessant phone buzzing.  Don't tweet about your experience right away.  Life your life.  Spend real, undistracted time with your spouse.  

9.  Discuss the future, but appreciate the present.  
I think it's so easy for young married couples like us to get caught up in thinking about the future.  When should we have babies?  I wonder when we will buy a house.  When will we feel ready to settle down?  I think it's a natural part of being in your twenties, but lately I've been realizing that I think so much about the future, that I'm missing the present.  Right now can be great!  Enjoy where you are in your life and your marriage.  Now.  

10.  Be (physically) there for each other.  
When Tim has a work function, I try to attend even when I don't feel like it.  When I have doctors appointments, Tim tries to work his work schedule so he can be there with me.  It makes the good events better, and the hard ones a little easier.  

11.  Embrace the in laws.  
They are your spouse's family.  Make it work.  It's going to be a pain to juggle holidays, differing viewpoints, and everything in between but make it work.  

12.  Say "I love you" a lot.  
When I say a lot, I mean a lot.  Tim and I probably say it at least ten times a day.  Sometimes it's when laughing.  Sometimes it's at the end of a phone call.  Sometimes it's intensely over a romantic moment.  Re affirm it constantly.  You probably don't need to, because even if you didn't say it, they probably know it, but it's so wonderful to hear it.  

What has your relationship taught you?  
I would love to hear your secrets to success!
Stop by and let me know!    

Can you say "hit the nail on the head?!"
Even after three years of marriage Shawn and I are still learning things.
I don't think this will ever stop. Which is a great thing.
I love all the lessons that Melissa shared, but right now I'd say that Shawn and I are working on numbers 5, 8 and 9.
Next I think we should move on to number 3, which means I'll be watching a lot more sports and Shawn will be doing a lot more shopping :)

Before I let you go, Melissa is hosting a giveaway!
You can win large ad space on her blog.
Enter below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Giveaway ends August 30 at 11:59 p.m. EST.
Winner announced Friday, August 31.
Good luck and happy weekending :)



Alicia Marie said...

It's only going to be 3 months of marriage for us on Sunday, but I feel like I've learned all of that too! You're so right about keeping it special, just by the little things, that makes all the difference. :)

Amanda said...

Silly words are my fave, we have lots, baby talking is our mature for two almost 30 year olds lol

smk053078 said...

Pick some good players in your draft and kick the crap out of it this year!!! make us all proud! I need to meet this great advice giver!!! Great marriage tips we could all use!! Wise woman!
happy weekend!!

A Shopaholic Runner said...

The 12 lessons are great and I could definitely use some work with #8.

My-cliffnotes said...

Our draft isn't until next weekend! ;(

Happy birthday to your friend!!

Kelly { MessyDirtyHair } said...

Do bet money in your draft?! The bf is doing it too. Your weekend sounds fun, good luck with ur cheer girls! Take pics! Xoxo Kelly

Kasey said...

love this! such great pointers :)

Elise Rogers said...

wow i love your blog!! So fun and cute! Im your newest follower!! Cant wait to read more!

Janna Renee said...

I can agree with all of these! It's definitely the little things and remembering to not let differences turn into fights!! said...

What a busy weekend!! Hope you had a great first game for the cheerleaders!! and I agree with Melissa, those are great lessons to be learned as well as practiced throughout all the years of marriage ahead :)

The Pretty Pinhead said...

Are you a cheer coach? I just started my 11th year :)

Hope the game went well. Our first football game is next Thursday. Wish us luck too!

Glad I came across your blog!

The Pretty Pinhead

Paula Jones said...

Hi Holly, I saw you on Chase All Your Dreams. I'm now following on GFC and Twitter, check out my blog when you have time, would love a follow. I blog about easy recipes for the family, my kids antics, running, time management. Have a great day!

JanM ♥ said...

Oh I love all these!


tiff@thecoffeehouse said...

aww. LOVE Melissa! Oh and I like free stuff too. What a great post! ;)

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