Wednesday, August 22, 2012

praying for baby abi

You guys are in for a treat today!
My lovely sponsor and one of the most patient women with a heart of pure gold in blogland, Mae, is taking over for the day.
She's here to share her story.
A story of love, waiting and prayers for a happy ending.
The story of the adoption of her daughter, Abiella.
It's touching, inspiring and heartwarming.
Take it away, doll face...

Hello friends! My name is Mary Susan (but I often go by my nickname Mae or 'Mae Mae' - a name my sister called me growing up...) and I blog over at Two Hoots & a Holler. 


Two Hoots & a Holler is about everything from growing up on a farm to being married to a musician to my journey as an adoptive mother. When Holly asked me to share a post about my experience as an adoptive mom thus far, I was so excited! I’m very passionate about adoption and anytime someone’s willing to listen I’m ready to talk!  So here we go…

In 2010 my husband and I decided to start the adoption process (yes, it’s 2012 and our child is still not home yet but that’s a different story).  My husband and I had always wanted to adopt, so when we decided 7 years into marriage that we were ready to start a family, we chose to adopt first and have biological kids second.
   
So, in 2010, we began months and months of research.  Searching for answers to a million questions: What agency? Where should we adopt from?  International adoption or domestic adoption? If we have to be foster parents first, would my husband’s erratic work schedule allow for all of the meetings and the visitations with biological parents? What’s our age range? Will we be open to a child with special needs? What kinds of special needs? Boy or girl? Is a sibling set okay? If so, would we accept a sibling set of 2, 3, 4, or even more children? The list went on and on.  For a number of reasons, we chose to adopt from Ghana, we were open to a sibling set of 2, all children under the age of 6, and the gender didn’t matter.  We put in our application, finished our homestudy, completed our educational classes, and by April 2011 we were on a waiting list.

Then in the summer of 2011, our adoption coordinator gave all adoptive families access to photos from her 2 ½ week summer trip to Ghana. As I eagerly scanned through these photos, looking at the landscape, the beaches, the markets, I noticed a sweet, beautiful, baby girl… I didn’t know anything about her other than she was living in a part of an orphanage for children with special needs. As the months followed, I often thought about her, although I didn't know anything about her story.

Then, months later, in September, I woke up in the middle of the night, very restless.  I couldn’t sleep and finally decided to just get out of bed.  I wandered into the dark living room, sat on the couch, and turned on my laptop.  I very quickly landed on my coordinator’s blog (a blog I read often).  I was struck by one of her most recent posts titled “Baby O”.  In her post she described a little girl needing a family.  She was developmentally delayed. While it was suspected that she had Cerebral Palsy and Microcephaly her specific needs would remain largely unknown until an adoptive family brought her home to their American doctors.  According to her blog, this child was being called “Baby O” as she had no official name and O was the first letter of her orphanage.  She posted this picture of the baby’s body (full pics aren’t allowed on the internet until a child is through court) and I immediately recognized it as the body of the sweet girl I had seen in the pictures from her trip months before.

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I quickly logged back into her photo account, searched through those 900 photos and found the pictures I had seen that summer of this little girl.  She was absolutely adorable and her eyes were stunning.

I felt a strong connection to this child. A very strong connection. I woke up my husband. He sat up, read the blog post, and looked at the pictures with me. What did this mean?  We hadn’t planned on adopting children with special needs, although we had found ourselves talking about special needs a lot in the weeks prior. From then on, we began discussing special needs more seriously, we began speaking with friends who had raised children with special needs, and we began praying about it… a lot.  We thought about this baby… we prayed for her… we gazed at her photos. We began calling her Abiella... (you can read why HERE.)

After a weeks of praying, researching, and begging God for discernment, we knew without a doubt we were to move forward. Filled with unspeakable peace, true desire and crazy excitement, we sent our coordinator an email asking, “Is Baby O still up for adoption?”  It was the weekend, we knew we may not get an answer for days, but sure enough on a Sunday morning in the Fall of 2011, at 1:30 am we got a reply.  It began with, “Mary Susan, my heart just about leaped out of my chest! Yes she’s still up for adoption!”  After reading more about her story and praying some more, we replied, “We’re so in love with this child. Let’s move forward.” And that’s what we did.  Two days later, we were filling out final paperwork and preparing to submit our dossier.

Although we knew we had to wait through months of court dates and paperwork before she could come home, we wanted to meet her as soon as possible! So 8 weeks after sending that email, we were on a plane to go meet our baby girl for the first time. You can read about that day HERE.  Here is a picture taken of us when we met for the first time:

Ghana 2 004

The meeting was overwhelming.  In just five minutes, she smiled at my husband and I half a dozen times. We couldn't take her from the orphanage, but everyday that week we took a taxi there, sat under a tree, and visited with Abiella. She was strong and beautiful and happy.

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Ghana 2 025

Eventually, we had to go home and say goodbye to our precious baby. We were told court might happen before Christmas and that she might even be home by February!  However, months came and months went and by the middle of May court still hadn’t happened.  I was devastated.  This waiting period was unbelievably hard.  The day I spotted “Mother’s Day” on my calendar I fell apart. I was determined to get away.  I needed to get out of town and have a change of scenery. So my husband planned a quick trip to the beach for Mother's Day weekend and on our drive there we got a phone call. Abiella had gone to court (yay) but the judge couldn’t  possibly “understand why an American couple would want to adopt a child with special needs.”  She was afraid we had been “misled.”  So, she did something quite unexpected, she ordered us to appear in court a few weeks later and tell her in person that we knew of Abiella’s needs. While this was an unanticipated development, I was THRILLED that I would get to see Abiella in just 2 weeks! We spent the next few days at the beach planning our short-notice trip to Africa and daydreaming about seeing Abiella again.



Two weeks later we boarded a plane to Ghana, spent three days with Abiella in our hotel room, stood in front of a judge, and became an official family of three!! Our time with Abiella was unbelievable and a true unexpected blessing.


abi smiling 2
daddy and daughter
mama and daughter

Today, we’re back at home without Abi... We're waiting on more paperwork… adoption decrees, birth certificates, visas, passports, 1-600s etc.  Waiting is incredibly difficult, but as our friends say, we’re one day closer than we were yesterday.

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Throughout this waiting time I have found great comfort in reading other adoption blogs, connecting with mamas going through waiting purgatory, and working hard to prepare for when she comes home. 

If you made it to the end of this post then you’re a real trooper!  You can follow more of our journey over here.  I write about all sorts of things, but I keep all of the adoption posts labeled under the adoption tab on the left.  Blogging has been a blessing for me over the past year and I’d love to follow your journey too :)  So, come introduce yourself!!


Isn't she amazing?!
That story just melts my heart, and I hope that very soon baby Abi will be home with her mommy and daddy where she belongs.
You're one day closer than yesterday, Mae! 

Two Hoots & a Holler

Head on over to Mae's blog, right now!
She rocks :)

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12 comments:

Tara St said...

I usually don't like to cry before 10 am, but I just couldn't help it after reading this. And now every other woman in my office is crying because I made them all read this. It's a beautiful story and I can't wait to read more when Abi comes home.
Tara
Penniless Socialite

Erin said...

What an incredible story. I'm totally at work trying to hold it together. What a sweet family they will be--- praying that Abi comes home to them soon! Can't wait to follow along on their blog. I'm so glad you shared this story today!

Carolyn said...

WOW... what an amazing story! Abi is such a lucky little girl, and I will definitely be praying for a quick process, so she can be with her new family!

Kelly { MessyDirtyHair } said...

wow this is beautiful. i dont even know what to say. sending many prayers & good thoughts your way!

Mary said...

What an amazing story. Thanks for introducing her to us! I wrote to her and in my message I of course mentioned that she and I have the same name haha :)

Kristine Foley said...

Love Mae! She is one incredible momma!

Karen said...

I read about Abi on Mae's blog. She is amazing and I love how they came up with her name.

Sarah said...

Beautiful story and pictures!! I will definitely be keeping them in prayer!! :)

Meg {henninglove} said...

wow what an incredible story. God's timing is perfect in every situation and through all the hard waiting, God still was in charge. thanks for sharing this great story of such an awesome couple

Kristin said...

love this!!

Dalayna Dillon said...

Oh my word, amazing story. I admire people who choose to adopt so much. I pray that I have the opportunity to do so one day too.

Dalayna

Kat@shop.school.sleep. said...

what an incredible story!! I hope the paperwork flies by and Mae gets her family soon!! Thanks for sharing!!

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