Thursday, September 6, 2012

you're not cool unless you wear crotchless undies

Let's face it.
I've sucked at blogging lately.
Proof: I lost two followers in one day this week!
It's like I'm in class, doing homework, coaching cheerleading, watching football, working, socializing or something cray like that.
Shenanigans, I say!
No excuses.

And because you're wondering {because I know you aren't} what the hell I'm doing with all the free time I have since I'm not producing tantalizing blog material, I've been:
  • Purging my body of phlegm. One person should not produce this much during an illness. I know, I'm grossed out too.
  • Making my booty work. I've started taking this cardio dance class {like Zumba} on Tuesday nights at the gym in my complex. Jenny is also hosting a boot camp at her house on Tuesdays, for a couple of us Cbus bloggers who requested it {what were we thinking?!} and promised to pay her in Diet Coke. Yeah, working out twice in one night. I'm hard core. Speaking of hard core, I make my cheerleaders work out at practice twice a week. You'd think I asked them to cut off a limb.
  • Taking an addictions counseling class. Drug addicts are some of the most interesting people EVER. And I mean this in all seriousness. The commitment they make to their drug of choice is astounding. Even when their skin rots and falls off, they continue to use. Look up krokodil. Or don't. It's effects are disgusting. These people need help. Drugs only kill the pain temporarily. Addiction - whether to a substance or a behavior or a relationship - is a vicious cycle of misery and euphoric highs, at least from what I've seen/learned. I hope that one day, as a counselor, I can help people break the cycle.
  • Avoiding anything and everything politics. This is hard work, ya'll! I know I should probably give a damn, but they are so annoying. I respect people's opinions, but dear sweet baby Jesus, the amount of time and money spent ridiculing/blaming/pointing the finger at one another could be better spent on, hell, I don't know, shit that matters? You know, like all those issues that need addressed? Everyone's a talker these days, we need more doers, by golly! But hey, who am I to tell them to stop producing those silly ads?
  • Making a "want" list. I need want to go fall shopping like yesterday. But I just cleaned out my closets and realized how much I buy and don't wear. It's pathetic. I have issues. But you knew that. So I'm trying to be more strategic with my shopping this season, if there is such a thing. Because if my wallet ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Especially the hubs. Although he was just designing a new pair of kicks online a little bit ago. Hypocrite ;)
    Anyway, I'll let you know how this new strategy goes.
  • Wearing crotchless undies. Yep, you read that right. My mother lovin' dogs keep eating my damn underwear!
    I've lost like three or four pairs this week {and the button off a pair of flats today} alone.
    I've actually put on a pair that they've eaten the crotch out of before. Dogs = 1; Holly = 0.
    I think Victoria's Secret put them up to this. It's time for a puppy intervention.
    They are driving me to drink Diet Coke and eat Chipotle.
Now, I have to go burn off these calories, i.e. sit here and watch the VMAs in the only pair of underwear I own that still has a crotch.



Jamie said...

Oh my gosn. My dog used to do that. So gross and so annoying.

Tara St said...

My dog does the same thing! She only takes my underwear and never the boyfriend's.
Penniless Socialite

Lins said...

1. I'm your newest follower!!! :)
2. The class you are taking sounds interesting! Are you doing it for fun or for your job?
3. My lab used to eat my undies also when he was a pup. One thing he has always done is grab our towels once we are out of the shower and throws himself on the floor and rubs his ears on it. :)


Amanda Nicole said...

Dying laughing at your dogs. Your class sounds so interesting. I've always wanted to either work in a hospital with kids or with drug addicts. Big stretch but, honestly I felt like both would always keep me on my toes.

Lindsay said...

Um ya so I looked up "krokodil"- sooooo NASTY! WOW! But I agree, I have always thought it was very interesting to learn about.

As far as the underwear- I have sooo been there! Too funny!

Anonymous said...

OK - so um, I looked up Krokidil - that's just NASTY! How can people keep doing that to themselves knowing the outcome?! Crazy!!

And I am TOTALLY with you about the politics!

Chelsea said...

Hahahaha. You are HILARIOUS! You poor thing with your underwear. May the underwear fairies bring you some new fancy pants! I'm also hoping the good health fairies pay you a visit soon... feel better, my love!!!

P.S. I looked up Krokodil. Siiiiick. But now it makes me want to pronounce crocodile like "krokodil." :)

Kelly { MessyDirtyHair } said...

Ew boo to those people who unfollowed! Sorry that you have a life haha! Love you!

Alana Christine said...

Wow, you've been busy! My dog used to eat my underwear, too! So annoying!

Laura said...

Haha! Hide your underwear! I used to coach 13 year olds...I feel your pain! Have a great weekend!

Jade :) said...

freakin dogs!! Too bad it didn't start last weekend, all VS pinks were on sale 6 for 27.50 or something like that! :) 1 extra then what's normal.

Carolyn said...

OMG! My dogs totally used to do that. Luckily, they've stopped. Hopefully yours does too! :(

Nelle Creations said...

LOl dogs are funny in what they get into! lol
Newest follower! Hope you can come and check out my blog and follow back if you like it. Also have a giveaway currently going on :) said...

oh that was pure awesomeness!! I remember my cheerleaders complaining becasue i had them run and then lead them thru an intense hour-long warm up routine...."we need to practice the cheers" they said...yeah but they needed to tone/strighten thier arms and cores for stunts etc, etc. are busy!! I had the same problem with my sister's dog (eating my underwaer)... my solution was to move out of my parents house....probably wouldn't owrk for you huh? LOL...hope they get over it!!

J and A said...

My dog does that alllll the time. Gross. A dog I looked after once ate all the straps off all my bras. Annoying.

Amber said...

Oh my god! I looked up krokodil, and I am now mentally scarred for life. Kudos to you for wanting to help people break those addictions!

My dogs have never eaten my underwear, but they will pull dirty clothes out of the basket and make a nest out of them. Weirdos.

Elizabeth said...

Hope you feel better soon! I have been battling a nasty cold too!

Kristin W said...

I'm with you on avoiding politics. I'm so sick of hearing about it all...Come on November! Whoa. And addicts are mystifying!

Daily Vacation said...

I predict scandalous post titles will help you get some new followers :D haha

Feel better!!

Yeah I can't wait for the election to be over - everyone will vote how they want and no one will change anyone's opinion, so what's the point in fighting about it?

callie ;) said...

can't wait to go fall shopping sometime soon!! preferably with you in tow. :)

Fletcher @ High Cotton Style said...

don't worry...I've had several pairs of crotchless panties too! Love having a colorful yard:)

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