Tuesday, March 26, 2013

booze, boobs and compliments

The past couple of days I've had some spelling issues.
A few Freudian slips if you will - wind came out wine; Ritter came out Titter {who misspells their own name?!}; and there were a couple more in there that I'm sure had to do with booze and boobs.
So either I need a drink and a boob job, or just a nice long nap.
Who says you can't have it all?

    Speaking of wine, I'm giving away a wine sippy cup over here.

So I really didn't mean to make this post about booze and boobs, but if it's in a title you're bound to be curious. I'll assume that's why you're still reading ;)
 
Anyway, you may know by now that I'm getting my master's in clinical mental health counseling.
And one thing from my current class - Couples and Family Counseling - has stuck.
Part of the brief therapy process is to assign a task and give a compliment.
Seems simple, but it's very effective, so they say.
But one thing my professor said about the compliment piece is carrying over into my personal life:
 
Don't give a compliment you don't mean.

This is most likely related to the whole "say what you mean, mean what you say" adage.
Maybe even it's twin brother.

In counseling, this means don't give an alcoholic a compliment on their abstinence if they're sitting in your office shmammered. Instead, compliment the client for showing up to get help then task him with going to AA seven days a week.
You want to focus on what the client is actually doing well.

In life, I imagine this means the same thing.
You don't want to inadvertently encourage bad behavior.
If a friend happens to wear her baby brother's t-shirt on purpose, don't tell her she looks great. Instead, ask her to go shopping.
If you see me walking in a bathing suit from behind - not that I'm doing this in March...not in Ohio anyway - don't tell me my legs look great {well, from knee down you can, but only if you mean it} because I know that's where all my cottage cheese likes to hang out. Yep, right there on the backs of my thighs.
Anyway, you get the point.

If you're going to say nice things to someone, mean them.
The end.
 photo hollysig_zps6042c54d.png

9 comments:

Andi said...

Absolutely agree! When someone compliments me on something I know isn't true, it just makes me feel worse about it!

Candis said...

My name is Candis. Autocorrect always wants to "correct" it to Candid... I usually catch it, but not always... So I feel ya on the whole spelling your name wrong thing!

And, I really like this post. Good advice!

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SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

Right on.

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Stephanie + Walter said...

I always try to only say what I mean! This post is fantastic :)

Michael said...

Sound advice. I think too often people say something simply because it *seems* the nice thing to do. Even when I don't like someone's outfit they've styled I will compliment something that I *do* like about it.

Agnes Mayer said...

I totally agree. I hate empty compliments. You might as well not say anything at all then say something when you dont' mean it. Don't forget about my link up tomorrow. HOpe you can join me.

Agi:)

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