Wednesday, March 27, 2013

how to bring porn into your marriage {it's not what you think}

I know you're all dying to know how Shawn and I incorporate porn into our marriage, but this little tidbit cannot wait.
One of my favorite people, Shanna, has been given a wonderful opportunity and she needs your help.
Read this {and admire her cutie patootie outfit} then vote here. Easy peasy.
I'll love you forever and Shanna might throw some Bennie's {aka Benjamin's ;)} your way.

Now, back to my regularly scheduled post.
Porn.
It weirds me out. Always has. I cannot take it seriously - the positions, the story lines, the moaning, the fetishes - WTF?! It's just not my style.
Luckily, Shawn and I have always had perfect rhythm {wink, wink}, see:

 photo 5253_527198847655_1376435_n_zps5bc697a2.jpg

I completely understand if people enjoy getting their jollies from a little pornographic material.
To each their own, my friends. No judging here.
But that doesn't mean Shawn and I haven't brought porn into our marriage.
You gotta keep it fresh, you know.
But it's not how you think...

One of our favorite things to do is read the titles and descriptions of the PPV porn channels on our TV guide.
The goal is to read them without cracking up.
I mean seriously, just try it {I can't believe I'm about to put some of these words on my blog - sorry mom! Also, I changed some of the letters in the words to help avoid a ridiculous amount of spam emails from Anonymous.}:

Young, Dumb and H0rny
Hot N@ughty Moms Getting D1rty for C@sh
All Chicks, No D1cks
DΣΣp Teen Cre@m Pies
Cheating Wives Go DΣΣp
Real CoΣd B@ng Party
FrΣsh and Σasy 3

See what I mean?
It's hysterical when Shawn tries to read the titles and descriptions {which were just too dirty to post here, I'm afraid} in his sexy voice. 
I die.
The more ridiculous the better.
So if there is ever a night when:
a) you can't find anything to watch on TV,
b) you're just having a bad day and need a good laugh, or 
c) you're looking for a way to spend quality time with your significant other, 
scroll to the porn channels on your TV guide and read the titles and descriptions.
You can thank me later.
Or call Shawn and I weirdos, but hey, at least we're having fun together :)



 photo hollysig_zps6042c54d.png


20 comments:

Kat@shop.school.sleep. said...

you are my idol for this post!!! hahaha!! some of those titles are just...no! I think the ones that get me the most are the knock-offs of real movies...like in the episode of Friends where Joey and Chandler get free porn and they watch "Lawerence of a L@bi@" (took your spelling suggestion for those spammers) and other titles I cannot think of right now :)

Melissa said...

My husband and I came across these when we were looking at our On Demand movie selection! SO many titles that made us laugh and cringe! Haha. So glad you posted this!

Katie said...

Lol!!! This is seriously hilarious. I sooo wanna try this.

Mary said...

hahahaha hilarious!!!

I voted, too!

Michael said...

OMG so funny! I think I might try this. Although I started laughing by the 2nd one so I'll clearly lose this game!

Gwen said...

Yesterday it was boobs, today porn... Can't wait till tomorrow! Hahaha

I love your letter substitutions.

Dinah Gacon said...

HAHAHAHA, Love it!!!! I have such a crazy sense of humor so this is right up my alley, I am sure my hubby would love this!!! Thanks for keepin it real lady!

xo Dinah @ sunshine super glam

Chelsea said...

HAHAHA. What a random post! You two are hilarious. I can't decide which title is my favorite. I think we should start coming up with titles... that's another game to play.

Also, the "sorry mom" was awesome :)

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Stephanie + Walter said...

This is hilarious!!! And I agree...the titles and descriptions are pretty ridiculous.

Jessica Jane said...

I like your honestly and willingness to be a little tough and cheek. I feel like the blog world can be little too PG sometimes!

www.jjlalife.blogspot.com

smk053078 said...

This is incredible!!!!! There is NO way I could read through the titles without laughing. I am not a fan of it...it's so cheesy and awkward!! You are a mess and I love you for it!! Thanks for the shout out....I can always count on my twin!!! LOVE YOU!!!!!

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Ami @ a champagne dream said...

Holly, I love this post! Porn titles are the BEST.

racingcourne said...

Hahah! I am taking a Sex Crimes class and we were just talking about pornography yesterday. One of our readings was similar to what you said. It's about how funny it can be because of what people thing porn is SUPPOSE to be like or sound like.

My-cliffnotes said...

The more ridiculous the better is right!! Love this

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Mia Maree said...

hahahahahaha I would lose if it was a game...there is no way I could NOT crack up reading those titles out loud :-) Hey I'm even laughing just thinking about it!

-Mia
www.msmiamaree.com

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