Wednesday, November 6, 2013

dear anonymous

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Dear Anonymous,

First, I owe you an apology. Your comment went unnoticed for more than six months! I'm ashamed. So to show the absolute sincerity of my apology, I'm dedicating this WHOLE post to you.
You're welcome.

Second, I don't know whether to be offended or flattered by your comment above. You're really toying with my emotions here, Anonymous. Perhaps this means that the first part of your comment is true. But I'm reading a book right now called Buddha's Brain that says our brains are like velcro for negativity and teflon for positivity, and in order to help the negative experiences in our lives fade into the background, we should focus on the positive things our lives - no matter how small. That being said, I am choosing to take your comment as a compliment, so thank you for calling me pretty.

But I'm sure you've read that book already since you're obviously a very smart person. Want to know how I can tell? 1. You used the correct form of "you're" in your comment, and 2. You're calling me - a person who has two bachelor's degrees, is finishing a master's degree, and has a career in higher education - stupid. Not to toot my own horn, but I thought I was doing pretty well for myself until I read your comment. Now, I'm starting to rethink my whole M.O.

I have to be honest, Anonymous. Can I be honest with you? I'll assume you said yes.
Your comment made me giggle. No, no I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the situation. It is just so funny to me that people like you feel compelled to leave anonymous comments like this on any blog. Maybe you were just having a bad day and needed to get some frustration off your chest. I can understand that - we all have our days.

But I appreciate you thinking of little ol' me that day. I truly do. I like to think that you just wanted me to feel special, and not that you didn't have anything better to do on May 3, 2013 at 9:36 a.m. than leave that asinine comment on my blog - on a page that has no content on it no less. Speaking of which, I should probably remedy that situation. See, Anonymous, your comment really is helping me get my act together. And for that, I thank you.

But in all seriousness, Anonymous, I hope leaving your comment on my innocent blog made you feel better. And I hope that my finally getting around to giving your comment the attention it deserves makes you feel special today. I know I feel better about myself knowing there are silly people like you out there, leaving anonymous comments on the interwebs. Bless your heart.

Yours in beauty and stupidity,

Holly


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11 comments:

KatyK said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry. This is even more funny knowing that you're one of the smartest chica's I have the pleasure of knowing. The fact that you're actually pretty too is just a bonus.

Audra said...

We both know what "Bless Your heart" means, so enough said.

Also, Anonymous is a dickbag.

Whitney Ellen said...

Oh snap, you dropped the "bless your heart". Game over.

Christina said...

hahahahah this is SO awesome. i love your humorous approach. and shoot, girl, i didn't know you had so many degrees. go you! xo PRETTY

Kristine said...

This just made my day!! Gotta love the people who hide behind the keys on their keyboard and are too afraid to show their own face!

Miss C.S. said...

Go Holly Go! People are so cruel and I love that you took an ignorant person and made a great post!

smk053078 said...

Way to keep a positive and humorous attitude. People who do this are hungry for attention, are lame, pathetic and jealous...that's a fact Jack!! :)

Ginny @ Buttergirl Diaries said...

Wow, crazy comment. Completely unnecessary. I try to stay away from giving attention to negativity. But sometimes it deserves it.

Ginny
www.buttergirldiaries.com

Samantha @ Sam ipsa Loquitur said...

anonymous is such a Karen. SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE.

Seriously love this post. Bless your heart slays me. ;)

Janna Renee said...

This is too funny, and I wish I could write a letter like this! However, I turned off Anonymous comments, so it won't happen. Just fabulous!

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