Monday, June 16, 2014

a letter from the dog that eats my undies

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Dear Mom,

First, I just want to apologize for the loss of your favorite pair - OK, fine, pairs - of undies. And OK fine, I'm sorry for eating your undies. There I said it. Those lace-waist, striped ones were really cute, and I really am sorry they are gone. But please allow me to explain myself.

I didn't want to eat them, I swear, but temptation got the best of me...again. I know you know what this is like because I see you sometimes standing in the panty eating chips, pretzels, Cheez Its, one after the other after the other. I don't say anything because I am guilty by association, sitting there hoping you'll drop one or just give me one, so I don't have to eat it off the floor. I really don't like eating off the floor.

In all fairness, Mom, I thought you were done with those undies. They were in the white can in the bathroom after all. So really, it's not me you're mad at, it's, and this is going to sound harsh, you. You didn't use the right white cushy thing to protect your undies during that weird thing you get each month that seems to ruin a couple pairs of your undies every time. Now, that thing is really who you should be upset with, not me.

But I have a solution! I heard about these new things you should get to help Save The Undies {Daddy and I watch a lot of TV while you're at work now that school is out} - you should get the new U by Kotex® Ultra Thin Pads with the 3D Capture Core technology!

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The 3D Capture Core is a one-of-a-kind center that locks away wetness to help stop leaks {like the ones that ruined your favorite pair of undies!}. Mom, this stuff is like a small army for your undies - trust me, if you want me to stop eating your undies out of the white can in the bathroom, you've gotta give these things a try. PLEASE! Save The Undies and save me from myself!

And, your friends can try these new U by Kotex® Pads with 3D Capture Core too! They can get FREE samples!

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So, you see, Mom, I told you this wasn't really my fault. Yes, I ate your undies, but they were already ruined. You can understand my confusion, yes? Oh, and, Mom, don't worry about me eating the U by Kotex® Pads wrappers - they are too pretty to eat. You're welcome.

In conclusion, I won't eat anymore of your ruined undies if you promise to use U by Kotex® Ultra Thin Pads with 3D Capture Core {and to keep sneaking me chips} when that thing comes next month. And tell your friends to get their own FREE samples so that you can all Save The Undies together!

Love your favorite {we both know that I am} snuggle puppy,

Moxyn 

This post is sponsored by U by Kotex® Pads. I received compensation for my efforts.


8 comments:

Because of Jackie said...

Stop it! You are the most clever sponsored post writer EVER, loved this;)

Sarah Farris said...

Hahaha! I know my dog is not feeling sorry for stealing my undies at all! She will even steal clean ones out of laundry baskets. It's her only trick.

srjones03 said...

This post is great! Cooper has the same problem!

Cheri @ Overactive Blogger said...

I wish I could say my dog just eats my undies, but she disgustingly pulls them out of the hamper or off the bathroom floor and licks them. Ugh, so disgustingly gross!

Kayla MKOY said...

This was definitely THEE best post I've ever read about a period.... HA! I will never understand why dogs like the things they do?!

Mary said...

hahaha this is the first sponsored post of anyone's blog that I have read in a while. Bravo, Holly, bravo.

The Girl who Loved to Write said...

MINE DOES THIS TOO! What little monsters.

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